This song's called "Fed Up". The stuff in []'s are shouted.
[1, 2, 3, 4!]
I'm not cut out for this
I'm tired of all this shit
It's not that I'm afraid
I'm only looking for my way
It's time to burn it down [Down!]
It's time to wipe it out [Out!]
Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me...
This is my cry!
This is how I plead I'm fed up! [Fed up!]
I can't take it anymore
You've destroyed our world
And I'm fed up!
I wanted something more
But all I see is war after war
This isn't what I hope for
All I've got now is horror
Things need to change [Change!]
Somethings gotta turn [Turn!]
There's things that need to be said
I can't believe it came to this
This is my cry!
This is how I plead!
I'm fed up! [Fed up!]
I can't take it anymore
You've destroyed our world
And I'm fed up!
Put it to an end! [Bring it down!]
Lock them all up! [We don't have time!]
I wish I had the chance [Chance!]
To start it all again [Again!]
(There's a guitar solo here)
Greed!
Hate!
Pain!
Poverty!
NO MORE!
This is my cry!
This is how I plead!
I'm fed up! [Fed up!]
I can't take it anymore
You've destroyed our world
And I'm fed up!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Constructive Criticism please!
Thanks!
A song I wrote for my band
In this verse:
You should change poverty to a one syllable word so it can keep on with the rhythm. Other than that, it's really good.Greed!
Hate!
Pain!
Poverty!
<center>
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
SOME DAYS LATER...Byzzy wrote:i'm leaving this forum for good
Byzzy wrote:fucking whores u think u can ban me? i'll be back whenever the fuck i want, zam fuck ur mom cuz she's a slut, fucking chinese
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
-
Arcane
- Ma Poubelle
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:28 pm
- First name: tom
- Age: 19
- Gender: ♂
- AKA: swish
- 360 Gamer Tag: iArcane
- Instrument 1: guitar
- Location: england
wow this is really strongly driven!
i love your views here and the end really enforces everything you're getting across, beautifull written for a punk piece
i love it man
i agree with zam on the one syllable timer, or maybe like with green day on holiday, where they say the words to a beat of the drums, you could count it in the timing? coz its a relevant word
really well done though.
im not sure if i like....
"Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me..."
...yet but im sure it'll grow on me. it sounds kinda "ah if no1 else says it then i will" and kinda doesnt sound rebellious enough, just me being super critical :P
great piece though :D
i love your views here and the end really enforces everything you're getting across, beautifull written for a punk piece
i love it man
i agree with zam on the one syllable timer, or maybe like with green day on holiday, where they say the words to a beat of the drums, you could count it in the timing? coz its a relevant word
really well done though.
im not sure if i like....
"Someone's gotta say it
It might as well be me..."
...yet but im sure it'll grow on me. it sounds kinda "ah if no1 else says it then i will" and kinda doesnt sound rebellious enough, just me being super critical :P
great piece though :D
