It's supposed to be kinda the All killer No Filler sum41 style song.
Woke up this morning
You left me
i was so horny
Why couldn't you stay with me?
I thought you loved me
But i guess i was wrong
All i got now is this box
laying around
and i....
I'm so sick of livin' in a box!
livin' in a box!
and you know it!
Baby, if we could only talk
I could tell you i'm sorry
But now situation tough
and this box is rough
I'm so sick of livin' in this box!
livin' in this box!
don't tell me you didn't know it
Okay what do you think?
I know it's sounds kinda stupid and pointless but that what i wanted, kinda old sum41 style pointless happy punk song.
Livin' in a box (first verse + chorus)
-
Phili
- Underclass Hero
- Posts: 3645
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:42 pm
- First name: Gavinji
- Age: 18
- Gender: ♀
- Instrument 1: Clarinet [have envy]
- Location: Ontario, Canada
- Contact:
I laughed, but not because it's bad, because it's funny. "I was so horny" and "Now all I got is this box".
Are you suggesting that you're using a box to satisfy yourself? Erm...
Are you suggesting that you're using a box to satisfy yourself? Erm...
Adam (Open Your Eyes), Amy (Mr. Penguin), and Sasha (Young,Dumb,And Full Of Cum...) are my noobs.
Claudia is my grand-noob.
Lisette (bunny) is my great-grand noob.
-
Arcane
- Ma Poubelle
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:28 pm
- First name: tom
- Age: 19
- Gender: ♂
- AKA: swish
- 360 Gamer Tag: iArcane
- Instrument 1: guitar
- Location: england
how does the song move? is it quite an upbeat and fast song hes angry about this? or is it more a kinda "Handle This" slower moving song?
cause if its a more upbeat moving song i'd recommend putting some more lyrics that give a "you left me so fuck you" kinda attitude
if its a slower song, then the lyrics are great and will suit it perfectly
either way the lyrics would make a good song and i like the concept
nice
cause if its a more upbeat moving song i'd recommend putting some more lyrics that give a "you left me so fuck you" kinda attitude
if its a slower song, then the lyrics are great and will suit it perfectly
either way the lyrics would make a good song and i like the concept
nice
-
Hentaiman
- Resident Skumfuk
- Posts: 6395
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:45 pm
- First name: Philip
- Age: 23
- Gender: ♂
- n00b: HilgaMan
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Bass
- Location: Israel
- Contact:
TNX for the good comments, guys.
It really makes me feel good :D
About the song. i wasn't sure at first but i thought more into the slower song, yeah, kinda "Handle This", even "Pieces" style, but more into "Handle This", maybe "Heart Attack", cuz the lyrcis are too pointless to be something kinda the "Chuck" album :P
So, yeah, i glad u liked it and i'm happy you think it's funny and suit as a slower song :P
Those are great news. u got maybe something to continue this with? b-cuz i can't really find some suitable second verse.
It really makes me feel good :D
About the song. i wasn't sure at first but i thought more into the slower song, yeah, kinda "Handle This", even "Pieces" style, but more into "Handle This", maybe "Heart Attack", cuz the lyrcis are too pointless to be something kinda the "Chuck" album :P
So, yeah, i glad u liked it and i'm happy you think it's funny and suit as a slower song :P
Those are great news. u got maybe something to continue this with? b-cuz i can't really find some suitable second verse.
-
Arcane
- Ma Poubelle
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:28 pm
- First name: tom
- Age: 19
- Gender: ♂
- AKA: swish
- 360 Gamer Tag: iArcane
- Instrument 1: guitar
- Location: england
lol @phillPhili wrote:Something about getting out of bed in the afternoon...
if you wanted a "Heart Attack" kinda look, and if the songs gonna get alot more agressive in tune, then i'd kick in some more aggressive language for the second verse.
rehtorical questions are always good :P
yer im liking your lyrics alot but dont slack on the next verse or 2 cause thats when a song reaches its emotional depth and i think thats what you're going for =]
good luck