The Unnecessary Short Story

Any book worms here?

Moderators: Janet, Gutter Dreams

Post Reply
User avatar
Jables
Chuck
Posts: 2010
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:42 pm
First name: Jables
Age: 21
Gender:
AKA: J.B, Jabables, Vanilla Bear
360 Gamer Tag: The Sinful Baby
Instrument 1: Bass
Instrument 2: Guitar
Instrument 3: Bouzouki
Location: Pontyclun
Contact:

The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by Jables »

I wrote this in a free lesson because I wanted to and I was bored, I don't expect you to understand it but I hope it invgorates your love of life. Everyone who has read it thus far has loved it, feel free to despise me :happy:

The Mystery of the Throbbing Member- An Unnecessary Short Story by Jables Jiggawigga

Jethro, the space cowboy floated down gigolo avenue on a warm, snowy August afternoon. He came across an old lady by the name of Fatima, she did not appreciate Jethro coming across her and so called the intergalactic law enforcement alliance. They arrived just as Jethro had finished procrastinating over the average size of the raccoon’s belly button, he saw them landing in their hoverpots and quick as Gary Glitter’s erection he pulled out his quantum pea flicker and fired several radioactive peas at the pursuing authorities. As the flying legumes bounced off the forehead of the grand poopah commander, he issued the order to shoot to violate. The officers took aim at Jethro’s backside with their unnaturally large dildo bazookas, the first few shots missed and hit a jelly wall, the big floppy dildos were lodged into the wall and their main shaft flopped and danced as though it had won a bean flicking competition. As Jethro neared the archway which would allow all the naughty people out of the city of Knobgobblers, he felt a sharp pain in his behind, he had been violated by a 12 inch green Flobobbly 3496 model dildo.

The moral of the story is that you should never come across an old lady without first asking permission, they don’t enjoy it as much as they used to.
Image
User avatar
HugoDisasters
Jessica Kill
Posts: 2979
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 4:19 pm
Gender:
n00b: You.
AKA: HHUGGZ
Instrument 1: Guitar
Instrument 2: Vocals
Instrument 3: Piano
Location: Sweden

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by HugoDisasters »

What was i reading? Why am i laughing?

Mindfuck.

Click to view the fullsize image.http://i34.tinypic.com/10e1sli.jpg[/imgwidth]
User avatar
sumfan4
Jessica Kill
Posts: 2707
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:48 am
First name: Eric
Age: 19
Gender:
n00b: all of them
Instrument 1: vajayjay
Instrument 2: my weiner
Instrument 3: your weiner
Location: Maryland, US

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by sumfan4 »

I already figured out the moral before you said it. It's so obvious!
User avatar
AnotherBassist
Newbie
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:29 am
First name: Nick
Age: 19
Gender:
Instrument 1: Vocals
Instrument 2: Guitar
Instrument 3: Bass
Twitter: ricknigas
Location: New York
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by AnotherBassist »

You had me at "Jethro".
I play bass in a punk band and like sushi. Check it out here: http://www.anotherreasonmusic.com/
or here: http://www.facebook.com/anotherreasonmusic
User avatar
Jake
Administrator
Administrator
Posts: 3196
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:31 pm
First name: Jake :O
Age: 25
Gender:
Last.fm Username: Boneloner
Twitter: broughjc
Location: Portsmouth, England
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by Jake »

I think you need to learn the meaning of the word "Procrastinate".
Image
<3 Sumfan


Donate to TNS:
[donate][/donate]
User avatar
Jables
Chuck
Posts: 2010
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:42 pm
First name: Jables
Age: 21
Gender:
AKA: J.B, Jabables, Vanilla Bear
360 Gamer Tag: The Sinful Baby
Instrument 1: Bass
Instrument 2: Guitar
Instrument 3: Bouzouki
Location: Pontyclun
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by Jables »

Jake wrote:I think you need to learn the meaning of the word "Procrastinate".
Isn't it wasting time thinking of something silly or something to that effect?
Image
User avatar
FuckT41182
Resident Skumfuk
Posts: 5234
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:34 pm
First name: Jacob(Jism)
Age: 20
Gender:
n00b: my dick
Location: Slovakia
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by FuckT41182 »

Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:
Jake wrote:I think you need to learn the meaning of the word "Procrastinate".
Isn't it wasting time thinking of something silly or something to that effect?
it is giving a bigger importance to something silly than to what actually is really important, like you have two things to do which you're both capable of, like saving a human life and cleaning your room, and you choose to clean your room first and leave the person die, simply, you choose to do the less important sooner and the more important later ...

at least from the psychological point of view it means that
This is Mark Allen Hoppus. He likes long walks on the beach. This, this is travis barker. He likes to be read poetry just before sunset. And me, I like to stick small pieces of furniture up my butt.
Image
I spy on my dad while he is taking a shower just like everyone else
Mark: Sometimes when I talk in 3rd person i end up calling tom mark
Tom:Yea than he starts touching me and i think thats masturbation
Some people think were idiots or perverts dont argue were both.
"i think we're gonna be one of those bands thats around forever and even makes records, even if noones buying them and using them for toilet paper...but we'll still make them because we'll be the best fuckin toilet paper anyones ever used...." - Tom Delonge
User avatar
Jables
Chuck
Posts: 2010
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:42 pm
First name: Jables
Age: 21
Gender:
AKA: J.B, Jabables, Vanilla Bear
360 Gamer Tag: The Sinful Baby
Instrument 1: Bass
Instrument 2: Guitar
Instrument 3: Bouzouki
Location: Pontyclun
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by Jables »

FuckT41182 wrote:
Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:
Jake wrote:I think you need to learn the meaning of the word "Procrastinate".
Isn't it wasting time thinking of something silly or something to that effect?
it is giving a bigger importance to something silly than to what actually is really important, like you have two things to do which you're both capable of, like saving a human life and cleaning your room, and you choose to clean your room first and leave the person die, simply, you choose to do the less important sooner and the more important later ...

at least from the psychological point of view it means that
Thank you :happy: Now what did you think of my story? :silly: :2cool4u:
Image
User avatar
FuckT41182
Resident Skumfuk
Posts: 5234
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:34 pm
First name: Jacob(Jism)
Age: 20
Gender:
n00b: my dick
Location: Slovakia
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by FuckT41182 »

Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:
FuckT41182 wrote:
Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:
Jake wrote:I think you need to learn the meaning of the word "Procrastinate".
Isn't it wasting time thinking of something silly or something to that effect?
it is giving a bigger importance to something silly than to what actually is really important, like you have two things to do which you're both capable of, like saving a human life and cleaning your room, and you choose to clean your room first and leave the person die, simply, you choose to do the less important sooner and the more important later ...

at least from the psychological point of view it means that
Thank you :happy: Now what did you think of my story? :silly: :2cool4u:
it's okay, it's just that this kinds of humor is kinda overused, but I gotta admit that I still enjoy it, it kinda remind me of the sexual version of the old game called Doom that we used to play as kids, in that version you could shoot milk from tits and so on ... good memories
This is Mark Allen Hoppus. He likes long walks on the beach. This, this is travis barker. He likes to be read poetry just before sunset. And me, I like to stick small pieces of furniture up my butt.
Image
I spy on my dad while he is taking a shower just like everyone else
Mark: Sometimes when I talk in 3rd person i end up calling tom mark
Tom:Yea than he starts touching me and i think thats masturbation
Some people think were idiots or perverts dont argue were both.
"i think we're gonna be one of those bands thats around forever and even makes records, even if noones buying them and using them for toilet paper...but we'll still make them because we'll be the best fuckin toilet paper anyones ever used...." - Tom Delonge
User avatar
HugoDisasters
Jessica Kill
Posts: 2979
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 4:19 pm
Gender:
n00b: You.
AKA: HHUGGZ
Instrument 1: Guitar
Instrument 2: Vocals
Instrument 3: Piano
Location: Sweden

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by HugoDisasters »

Feels like the day we're running out of ideas is coming near... :suicide:

Click to view the fullsize image.http://i34.tinypic.com/10e1sli.jpg[/imgwidth]
User avatar
Jables
Chuck
Posts: 2010
Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 6:42 pm
First name: Jables
Age: 21
Gender:
AKA: J.B, Jabables, Vanilla Bear
360 Gamer Tag: The Sinful Baby
Instrument 1: Bass
Instrument 2: Guitar
Instrument 3: Bouzouki
Location: Pontyclun
Contact:

Re: The Unnecessary Short Story

Post by Jables »

I didn't intend it to be funny or anything, I was bored and so just wrote down my thoughts at the time and put them into a story (of sorts) I'm just weird and wonderful and you lucky sods have just had a sneak peek into the mind Jabables! :2cool4u:
Image
Post Reply