Page 1 of 1
Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:34 pm
by silverdolphin
This is a song I wrote a long time ago ...
Here goes:
Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
I'm the disappointment
cause of disagreement
you can't trust me
I'm not trust worthy
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless
they tried to
force control,I told you
my truth shall never unfold
I told you
I'm the disappointment
cause of disagreement
you can't trust me
I'm not trust worthy
Hypocrisy , surrounds me
stupidity , controls me
machinery's, the core of me
sincerity's , what lacks me
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless
......
It's a short song 'cause long songs bore me..
suggestions??
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:17 am
by Jake-41
best fuckin title evah!!
as for the song, it's pretty good. i just dont like, see a main chorus. But it could be good!
keep writing!!.. :]
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:59 am
by silverdolphin
@ Dizzy J : Thanks!
& which main chorus do you mean?
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:57 am
by Jake-41
silverdolphin wrote:@ Dizzy J : Thanks!
& which main chorus do you mean?
um, so it's all just one chorus??
u have some great lines but, ya just need a longer verses.
it'd spund a bit errr... quick??.. put it togeher a bit.
but,
i dunno how you would sing this or the rythem u'd use sooo, it might work for you!
but, dont let any of us crush ur passion, do watever u feel like!
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:40 am
by sprinks41
really good! i like how you used the rhythm of CAFIMT's chorus for part of it, that was really clever!
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:49 am
by Jake-41
Hypocrisy , surrounds me
stupidity , controls me
machinery's, the core of me
sincerity's , what lacks me
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless............... simply great!... amazing mite i say!
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:48 pm
by silverdolphin
@ sprinks41: thanks!
@ Dizzy J : thanks again!
& I know the song will sound short >> that's how I want it to be ..
'cause maybe if I make it longer it might ruin it ..
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:07 pm
by Jake-41
i kno. After i looked at it, i noticed it all seems to fit nicely!
now,
i believe u have tab to be writing, i want demos by five!!
ya kno, as ur agent
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:17 pm
by silverdolphin
Dizzy J wrote:
now,
i believe u have tab to be writing
I know .. I just started thinking about the chord progression ( guitar ) yesterday .. I want the song to be with bar chords.. it will suit it more ... I haven't thought of the guitar solo, but it will sound awful ofcourse .. 'cause I'm just a beginner ..
Dizzy J wrote:
i want demos by five!!
ya kno, as ur agent
I'll make a demo when I'm able to play bar chords .. ( which will be after a very long time 'cause I have skinny weak fingers ..
)