Punk Rock Chick [a new song i wrote]

[Hentaiman]

Well here's a new song i wrote, its called "Punk Rock Chick" and its basically based on the truth, not as much as its in the song, but its basically what it meant for me.
A chick i would never expect to be like me, kinda Punk rock chick and all, and then one day... boom! after long time i haven't seen her, she looked extremely good (before she looked just cute, but now... wow!), plus i never knew she was too into Sex Pistols, Sum 41 and Billy Talent :D
So its the inspiration for the song, if anyone wants to know.

here it is:

[intro]
Body pierced, a cigarette in her hand
It was so uplanned
To meet chick so fuckin' epic...
That makes you forget about the world

[verse 1]
I saw her in the street
Never looked at her, never thought about her
I saw her at the show
But i didn't know she was a punk rock chick
It just this one day, I saw her again
She was so freakin' hot, I thought i went insane

[chorus]
She was punk rock chick! [x2]
I couldn't believe
That i fell in love...
with a punk rock chick.

[verse 2]
I saw her before, I never knew at all
That she not only likes... to go to the mall
I knew it felt weird, i knew it was insane
I could feel the pain, while standing in the rain!

[chorus]

[fast singing]
piercing, tattooes, knits, cigarettes,
mini skirt, rings, spiked belts, headsets!

[interlude]

[chorus x3]
[outro]

[Dylan]

it was good, just this is how i read the chorus, kinda like a group shout;

She was punk rock chick! (PUNK ROCK CHICK!)
I couldn't believe
That i fell in love
with a punk rock chick. (PUNK ROCK CHICK!)
[x2]


(ps. i found that reference to BT. )

[Hentaiman]

Yeah the way you wrote it sounds good too, i dunno, my original idea with the "She was punk rock chick" repeated twice also sounds good i think, at least it sounded before when i had some good melody in my mind for it.
the way you wrote it also sounds good if you sing it with the right melody, and yeah, you made it sound very Billy Talent-ish your way (with the group shout). :P

[Dylan]

and yeah, you made it sound very Billy Talent-ish your way (with the group shout). :P

that wasn't my intention. i read it the way i thought would sound cool.

when i said "reference to BT" i ment the "standing in the rain" reference.

[Hentaiman]

and yeah, you made it sound very Billy Talent-ish your way (with the group shout). :P

that wasn't my intention. i read it the way i thought would sound cool.

when i said "reference to BT" i ment the "standing in the rain" reference.

Oh that what you meant haha,
cuz i imagined my chorus sung by Ben and what supposed to be the shouts like the backing vocals Ian does, and you know what, it actually sounds very cool, so... haha, it'll be a good BT song :D
Well, so anyway, just by mentioning BT you made me sing it in my mind with Ben's voice and Ian's as the shouts in the background, sounds cool though :D

And i really dont know whats better, how i wrote it or how you changed it with the group shouts which is also cool and fits the song.

[wiggs1441]

pretty good. it reminds me of the Aquabats.

[ToMaTaN]

i likes it!

s'really good, u written music for it?

[Hentaiman]

i likes it!

s'really good, u written music for it?

not yet.

[HilgaMan]

That's cool! I mean really cool! 8)