The OFFICIAL (Not) Joke Thread

[182sins]

what's the difference between the Mexicans and the Japanese?

30,000 people survive after a Mexican wave



I had sex with a Japanese girl last night. foreplay wasn't needed.

she was already wet.



give a Japanese man a fish and he will eat for a day.

give him a fishing net and he might find his kids.

Amazing

[Bobbyjames]

why do Japanese people always bow?

they don't like waves.



who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Japan.



there seems to be a lot of jokes about Japan going around at the moment.

it must be something in the water.

[Dylan]

LMAO bad idea to read this while drinking water.

[Bobbyjames]

bad idea to open this thread with me around!

[Wennis]

Yeah keep em coming. Mine was bad, thinking of a better one D:

[Mitchell]

bad idea to open this thread with me around!

Bad idea to open any thread with you around

[Bobbyjames]

good point.

[samueeL]

I think it's time for 9/11 jokes..?

What is world most efficient airline?
American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48!

"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands...

What was the last thing going through the mind of a stockbroker on the 110th floor?
The radio mast.

[Mitchell]

I think it's time for 9/11 jokes..?

What is world most efficient airline?
American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48!

"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands...

What was the last thing going through the mind of a stockbroker on the 110th floor?
The radio mast.

LOL!!!

[Bobbyjames]

lemonade factory in Japan has been hit by the tsunami.

over 40 people have been schwepped away.

[Resident Skumfuk]

I think it's time for 9/11 jokes..?

What is world most efficient airline?
American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48!

"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands...

What was the last thing going through the mind of a stockbroker on the 110th floor?
The radio mast.

.....

[samueeL]

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.

This should be official joke thread.

[Lars]

what's the difference between the Mexicans and the Japanese?

30,000 people survive after a Mexican wave

I loved this one.

[Bobbyjames]

what's yellow and orange and looks good on Katie Price?

fire.

[fergal41]

"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"

Lollers

[samueeL]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"


How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

[PyroAMYac]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"


How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

And AGAIN, you wonder why there are hardly any girls on here... Shame I can't just punch you for it though

[Druska]

why did god create the man before the women, god made a draft first

[samueeL]

And AGAIN, you wonder why there are hardly any girls on here... Shame I can't just punch you for it though

Haha, you can try to strike me down with jokes tho!

[Bobbyjames]

God created Adam and said, "I have given you everything you could ever want. Is there anything else you would like?"

Adam replied, "I would like a sandwich," to which God created Eve.



For me golf is a lot like women; if she isn't holding my wood, she should be holding an iron.