I said I would die for you,
And look, and wait, and sing for you.
The melody that used to bring such joy
Now stings my eyes with tears of grief.
I still remember our first dance,
First time I had ever danced.
Danced to prove my love for you
And to prove nothing else mattered.
Now, nothing matters [Couldn’t care less]
About what happened. [Next it in this story]
You swore you loved me. [Just empty words]
I’m sick and tired and gonna end all this.
You used me like a marionette,
With empty words, words of hate.
Grab a knife, stab my back,
I bet even that’d hurt less.
When I start to think we get somewhere
We’re back to the very beginning.
Do we really have to repeat all of this
The lies, the hate, the tears, the blood?
Please write “love†on my arm
Using a dagger and pressing it hard
Onto my delicate, smooth skin
Cutting it open, making me bleed.
Shall we repeat this [Even knowing the answers]
And keep me suffering? [You know you want this]
Can’t feel it now [pain is non-existent]
Please stop destroying me.
You used me like a marionette,
With empty words, words of hate.
Grab a knife, stab my back,
I bet even that’d hurt less.
The parts that are between [ ], I'm gonna scream 'em.
Most emo song I've written... I think. Also the one with the most meaning in it. I'm between a love, hate situation with my ex / best friend. One day she tells me she loves me, the next she says she doesn't...
Constructive criticism, please.
Untitled
Untitled
<center>
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
SOME DAYS LATER...Byzzy wrote:i'm leaving this forum for good
Byzzy wrote:fucking whores u think u can ban me? i'll be back whenever the fuck i want, zam fuck ur mom cuz she's a slut, fucking chinese
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
- Arcane
- Ma Poubelle
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:28 pm
- First name: tom
- Age: 19
- Gender: ♂
- AKA: swish
- 360 Gamer Tag: iArcane
- Instrument 1: guitar
- Location: england
zam i love your lyrics!
if i hadn't had known where i had read them i could have sworn it was a real song.
i truly dont have much negative to say, as a song it would work well with any slow-medium paced song, but if your thinking of screaming i'd stick to that anyway; adds a nice effect
with the [] brackets are you gonna add a reverb? is this a solo effort or for your band? coz the band could reverb those parts or maybe some other lyrics that fit between it?
all just ideas coz i dont have much else to say
oooh also you might want to add some enthusiastic words here and there, the words that mean more or relate more to the song or maybe something emotive, to perhaps sing with more volume or a higher enthasis, gives the impression of your hurt and anger and could really bring a nice effect to it
anyway your choice, but this is great work =]
if i hadn't had known where i had read them i could have sworn it was a real song.
i truly dont have much negative to say, as a song it would work well with any slow-medium paced song, but if your thinking of screaming i'd stick to that anyway; adds a nice effect
with the [] brackets are you gonna add a reverb? is this a solo effort or for your band? coz the band could reverb those parts or maybe some other lyrics that fit between it?
all just ideas coz i dont have much else to say
oooh also you might want to add some enthusiastic words here and there, the words that mean more or relate more to the song or maybe something emotive, to perhaps sing with more volume or a higher enthasis, gives the impression of your hurt and anger and could really bring a nice effect to it
anyway your choice, but this is great work =]
Thanks, both of you! It is a band song, but usually me and my bassist write the lyrics. I'll definitely try to add the reverb to the song.
I don't know if I'll be changing some lyrics cuz I meant this song to be a little depressing, I want to give a chance to people to know how I feel and I usually do it through my lyrics. Writing notes/lyrics/poems/random lines is a way of therapy and expressing myself. I'm really glad you liked them. Thank you, once again.
EDIT: By the way, Swish, thanks for the compliment. :)
It's the first time anyone says my lyrics sound pro. I just try to create my own style while I feel some people try to use other people's styles. So, thanks, I'll try hard. :)
I don't know if I'll be changing some lyrics cuz I meant this song to be a little depressing, I want to give a chance to people to know how I feel and I usually do it through my lyrics. Writing notes/lyrics/poems/random lines is a way of therapy and expressing myself. I'm really glad you liked them. Thank you, once again.
EDIT: By the way, Swish, thanks for the compliment. :)
It's the first time anyone says my lyrics sound pro. I just try to create my own style while I feel some people try to use other people's styles. So, thanks, I'll try hard. :)
<center>
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
SOME DAYS LATER...Byzzy wrote:i'm leaving this forum for good
Byzzy wrote:fucking whores u think u can ban me? i'll be back whenever the fuck i want, zam fuck ur mom cuz she's a slut, fucking chinese
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
- Arcane
- Ma Poubelle
- Posts: 637
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:28 pm
- First name: tom
- Age: 19
- Gender: ♂
- AKA: swish
- 360 Gamer Tag: iArcane
- Instrument 1: guitar
- Location: england
the best thing really zam.
its gotta be from the heart or the lyrics just wont work. in a way having a hard situation can be terrible but having the right creative outlet like you've done can really make something of yourself. been in the situation a few times myself. i end up drawing something though to channel my emotions :)
really though this is excellent stuff, i really hope it goes well
its gotta be from the heart or the lyrics just wont work. in a way having a hard situation can be terrible but having the right creative outlet like you've done can really make something of yourself. been in the situation a few times myself. i end up drawing something though to channel my emotions :)
really though this is excellent stuff, i really hope it goes well
Probably. Usually we get loads of lyrics and then decide the best few out of em and make em songs. I'll try. :)
<center>
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
SOME DAYS LATER...Byzzy wrote:i'm leaving this forum for good
Byzzy wrote:fucking whores u think u can ban me? i'll be back whenever the fuck i want, zam fuck ur mom cuz she's a slut, fucking chinese
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
Too... Much... Attention... Can't ... Handle...
But I love it. :D
But I love it. :D
<center>
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>
SOME DAYS LATER...Byzzy wrote:i'm leaving this forum for good
Byzzy wrote:fucking whores u think u can ban me? i'll be back whenever the fuck i want, zam fuck ur mom cuz she's a slut, fucking chinese
*The joke's on you, dumbass!*</center>