This is a song I wrote a long time ago ...
Here goes:
Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
I'm the disappointment
cause of disagreement
you can't trust me
I'm not trust worthy
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless
they tried to
force control,I told you
my truth shall never unfold
I told you
I'm the disappointment
cause of disagreement
you can't trust me
I'm not trust worthy
Hypocrisy , surrounds me
stupidity , controls me
machinery's, the core of me
sincerity's , what lacks me
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless
......
It's a short song 'cause long songs bore me..
suggestions??
Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
- silverdolphin
- Hooch
- Posts: 483
- Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 12:37 pm
- First name: Zee
- Age: 17
- Gender: ♀
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Keyboard
- Instrument 3: Bass
- Location: Earth.
- Jake-41
- Underclass Hero
- Posts: 3696
- Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:26 am
- First name: Jake!
- Age: 18
- Gender: ♂
- Instrument 1: Banji
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
best fuckin title evah!!
as for the song, it's pretty good. i just dont like, see a main chorus. But it could be good!
keep writing!!.. :]
as for the song, it's pretty good. i just dont like, see a main chorus. But it could be good!
keep writing!!.. :]
- silverdolphin
- Hooch
- Posts: 483
- Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 12:37 pm
- First name: Zee
- Age: 17
- Gender: ♀
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Keyboard
- Instrument 3: Bass
- Location: Earth.
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
@ Dizzy J : Thanks!
& which main chorus do you mean?
& which main chorus do you mean?
- Jake-41
- Underclass Hero
- Posts: 3696
- Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:26 am
- First name: Jake!
- Age: 18
- Gender: ♂
- Instrument 1: Banji
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
um, so it's all just one chorus??silverdolphin wrote:@ Dizzy J : Thanks!
& which main chorus do you mean?
u have some great lines but, ya just need a longer verses.
it'd spund a bit errr... quick??.. put it togeher a bit.
but,
i dunno how you would sing this or the rythem u'd use sooo, it might work for you!
but, dont let any of us crush ur passion, do watever u feel like!
- sprinks41
- Walking Disaster
- Posts: 880
- Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:05 pm
- First name: Jim
- Gender: ♂
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Attempted Vocals
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
really good! i like how you used the rhythm of CAFIMT's chorus for part of it, that was really clever!
- Jake-41
- Underclass Hero
- Posts: 3696
- Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:26 am
- First name: Jake!
- Age: 18
- Gender: ♂
- Instrument 1: Banji
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
Hypocrisy , surrounds me
stupidity , controls me
machinery's, the core of me
sincerity's , what lacks me
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless............... simply great!... amazing mite i say!
stupidity , controls me
machinery's, the core of me
sincerity's , what lacks me
Super soldier
from toe to shoulder
so faceless
so mindless
so heartless............... simply great!... amazing mite i say!
- silverdolphin
- Hooch
- Posts: 483
- Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 12:37 pm
- First name: Zee
- Age: 17
- Gender: ♀
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Keyboard
- Instrument 3: Bass
- Location: Earth.
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
@ sprinks41: thanks!
@ Dizzy J : thanks again! & I know the song will sound short >> that's how I want it to be ..
'cause maybe if I make it longer it might ruin it ..
@ Dizzy J : thanks again! & I know the song will sound short >> that's how I want it to be ..
'cause maybe if I make it longer it might ruin it ..
- Jake-41
- Underclass Hero
- Posts: 3696
- Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:26 am
- First name: Jake!
- Age: 18
- Gender: ♂
- Instrument 1: Banji
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
i kno. After i looked at it, i noticed it all seems to fit nicely!
now,
i believe u have tab to be writing, i want demos by five!!
ya kno, as ur agent
now,
i believe u have tab to be writing, i want demos by five!!
ya kno, as ur agent
- silverdolphin
- Hooch
- Posts: 483
- Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 12:37 pm
- First name: Zee
- Age: 17
- Gender: ♀
- Instrument 1: Guitar
- Instrument 2: Keyboard
- Instrument 3: Bass
- Location: Earth.
Re: Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Machinery & Sincerity (Super Soldier)
I know .. I just started thinking about the chord progression ( guitar ) yesterday .. I want the song to be with bar chords.. it will suit it more ... I haven't thought of the guitar solo, but it will sound awful ofcourse .. 'cause I'm just a beginner ..Dizzy J wrote: now,
i believe u have tab to be writing
I'll make a demo when I'm able to play bar chords .. ( which will be after a very long time 'cause I have skinny weak fingers .. )Dizzy J wrote: i want demos by five!!
ya kno, as ur agent